On Tuesday, September 5, I underwent a repeat right-side mammogram and mammary sonogram. As noted on previous films, a “faintly visible cluster of microcalcifications is seen in the upper outer quadrant” on breast x-ray. The sonogram showed “no evidence of mass.” So, I had my fingers crossed that the results were good enough to warrant the cancellation of the following week’s surgical consultation. There was no such luck. On September 13 (a hallowed number – only to be superseded by 666), I found myself being screened by a YOUNG surgical intern for a manual breast exam. (This guy couldn’t have been more than 24 years old.) After going through a series of standard medical questions, my hospital apprentice then informed me that he would be getting a female nurse to “chaperone” the physical inspection. I was getting burned out by the seriousness of my potential medical situation and decided it was time for some comic relief. So – using sarcasm concerning the need for a chaperone – I said...